took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
