I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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