I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we're making bets on your personal life
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May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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