actually, I'm a sock model
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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