Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
