I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
