You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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