she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
