no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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