R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
