so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize