i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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