I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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