i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
