You just made me feel so damn special
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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