I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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