Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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