You were right. It hurts to walk today.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
These tits shall not be calmed
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
