I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
