I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
