like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
