mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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