Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
