I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
