I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
