I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
