did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize