JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
and she was petting her beer can
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
