why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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