We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize