Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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