she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
