I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
