When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just pee around me
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
