I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Small penises have feelings too.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
A+ Viking dick
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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