That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
