Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
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four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
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did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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