i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
