You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
