see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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