When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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