I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
