Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
