Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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