Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
