yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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