OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
