Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize