Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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