Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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