careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
