A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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