It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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