I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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