Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
