you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
