woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
