her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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