drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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