i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
