Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
