I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.