i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.