Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
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Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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