Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off