I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
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Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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