Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!

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  (617): Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them! http://tfl.nu/ih83
  Replies (5) Good night (820) Bad night (1057)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone

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  (905): I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone http://tfl.nu/ci8g
  Replies (23) Good night (1022) Bad night (3478)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.

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  (301): you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop. http://tfl.nu/0o9n
  Replies (19) Good night (7228) Bad night (737)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize

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  (937): dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize http://tfl.nu/5hy5
  Replies (17) Good night (3642) Bad night (846)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Grandpa would have been proud

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  (815): Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out. (815): Grandpa would have been proud http://tfl.nu/nrjc
  Replies (13) Good night (5878) Bad night (1263)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.

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  (508): My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life. http://tfl.nu/p0ex
  Replies (16) Good night (5846) Bad night (1553)
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  (530): View more from California

  As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.

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  (530): As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before. http://tfl.nu/b7oy
  Replies (22) Good night (14339) Bad night (1209)
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  (562): View more from California

  cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi

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  (562): cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi http://tfl.nu/kis8
  Replies (28) Good night (4598) Bad night (1908)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.

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  (214): um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid. http://tfl.nu/gcwj
  Replies (17) Good night (2962) Bad night (1403)
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  (909): View more from California

  When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?

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  (909): When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too? http://tfl.nu/ln8u
  Replies (6) Good night (1412) Bad night (494)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle

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  (226): The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle http://tfl.nu/jqp1
  Replies (3) Good night (828) Bad night (909)
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  (916): View more from California

  I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.

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  (916): I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it. http://tfl.nu/y2di
  Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (968)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.

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  (847): The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one. http://tfl.nu/8fpw
  Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (415)
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  (718): View more from New York

  He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina

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  (718): He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina http://tfl.nu/wn6v
  Replies (7) Good night (350) Bad night (826)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk

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  (+44): I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk http://tfl.nu/m4vj
  Replies (0) Good night (462) Bad night (203)

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