Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.

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  (513): So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!" (1-513): You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks. http://tfl.nu/bvbo
  Replies (30) Good night (676) Bad night (1633)
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  (831): View more from California

  Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777

  (323): View more from California

  Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)

  (831): View more from California

  Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.

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  (831): Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777 (323): Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;) (831): Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up. http://tfl.nu/bykg
  Replies (19) Good night (2034) Bad night (630)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  she kept yelling 'call me bella'

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  (306): she kept yelling 'call me bella' http://tfl.nu/4ude
  Replies (54) Good night (841) Bad night (5279)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?

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  (614): Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy? http://tfl.nu/swws
  Replies (17) Good night (5294) Bad night (698)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.

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  (918): i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/hs1z
  Replies (32) Good night (7381) Bad night (1227)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.

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  (832): The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left. http://tfl.nu/7tek
  Replies (22) Good night (1790) Bad night (10455)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something

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  (917): Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something http://tfl.nu/o4s2
  Replies (7) Good night (3880) Bad night (1122)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  high in an attic. pig roast in 10.

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  (703): high in an attic. pig roast in 10. http://tfl.nu/5v0b
  Replies (11) Good night (3410) Bad night (927)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.

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  (402): Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes. http://tfl.nu/823v
  Replies (12) Good night (2894) Bad night (881)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point

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  (407): i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point http://tfl.nu/9yf5
  Replies (7) Good night (1448) Bad night (3348)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.

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  (727): Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen. http://tfl.nu/2lhp
  Replies (6) Good night (2028) Bad night (691)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?

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  (919): What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room? http://tfl.nu/ulxd
  Replies (4) Good night (1201) Bad night (375)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.

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  (203): You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you. http://tfl.nu/720l
  Replies (9) Good night (1271) Bad night (737)
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  (347): View more from New York

  WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA

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  (347): WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA http://tfl.nu/6u80
  Replies (5) Good night (892) Bad night (411)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.

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  (216): just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin. http://tfl.nu/vhdg
  Replies (10) Good night (246) Bad night (428)

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